A new start, an old dream and a past love
by PLLiar
Summary: The story isn't with the PLL characters, but it is with the actresses! This story is about a girl who's working towards her dream job and on that path she bumbs into her old flame who happens to be one of the actresses who plays in Pretty little liars.
1. Chapter 1

Late in the evening and Sawyer was reading her favorite clause of her favorite Dickens book, _Great expectations_: 'I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.'  
Every time she read that part her mind took her to that special person and this time was not different. Thinking, fantasizing, hoping, …

Phoebes thoughts got interrupted by her cellphone that started ringing. No caller ID. She wasn't really in the mood to pick up her phone but she did it anyway.  
"Hello."  
"Hi, I'm calling for miss Sawyer Brookes."  
"You're speaking with her."  
"Oh, hi miss Brookes. I'm calling for the job interview you had last week here at Hollywood records. We would like you to come in for a second interview. Can you come in tomorrow at 9.30am?"  
"yes, no problem. Thank you."  
They both hang up.  
Sawyer couldn't believe it. She was one of five people from dozens who got chosen for a second interview. It was her dream to work for a famous record label and she was just one interview away from that dream. Immediately her mind started to run through her wardrobe. What would she wear? It had to be classy and trendy, but she still needed be herself. She'd definitively wear a long skinny jeans, probably a dark blue one. Shoes weren't so difficult to choose either, her black sneakers were perfect and very easy to match everything. About accessories she needed to think a little but she quickly decided to wear her triquetra necklace, a very standard watch and her two favorite leather bracelets. One she got for her birthday a couple years ago from her best friend and the other she got from her… She interrupted her own thoughts and walked into her bedroom towards her closet. Now she only needed to decide which T-shirt she would wear. After ten minutes just staring into her closet she gave up and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  
" I'll find something tomorrow," she thought.  
Sawyer changed into her purple checkered pajama pants and a white thank top and tossed her clothes on a chair next to her closet. She stepped into her queen-size bed, turned out her night light and went to sleep. All though it took her a while to fall asleep.

07.30am and Sawyers alarm clock started singing 'Vacation' by Simple plan. Sawyer search for her cellphone with her eyes closed and put it off. Slowly she sat herself straight and opened her eyes. It always takes her a minute or two before her brain starts kicking in.  
"Okay, time to wake up now Sawyer" she said to herself and with that phrase she threw her legs out of bed and stood up. She opened her half long green black striped curtains. The sun stood on the other side of the building in the morning so she saw the big, long shadows from the buildings around. She walked to her closet and stared at it like last night. This time she took a shirt out. It was a white loose shirt that was wide on the shoulders and it had some color changes near the bottom of the shirt. She started to put her jeans on and remembered her only white bra was still lying in the laundry basket.  
"Damn it."  
She walked out of her room and knocked the door down the hall. She opened it and stuck her head through the opening.  
"Hey, Caillee. Can I borrow one of your white bra's?"  
Caillee was Sawyers roommate. They met at Los Angeles College of Music where they shared a dorm room at the campus of their school. When Caillee and Sawyer both graduated 3 years ago they were determined to find a place they could share and they were lucky enough to have find that place. It wasn't like either of them had a fixed relationship.  
Sawyer, who was still hanging half way through the open door, didn't get a response from her roommate.  
"Caillee," she spoke a little louder.  
"Heu, what, where…?" Caillee woke up confused.  
"Can I borrow one of your white bra's," Sawyer repeated, "mine is still in the laundry basket."  
"Yeah, sure. Take one out of my closet."  
Sawyer entered the room, stepping barefoot on the fluffy pink matt. Her roommate loved pink but because Sawyer wasn't so crazy about the color, they agreed to not put any pink in the common rooms.  
Sawyer opened the drawer where Caillee kept her underpants and her bra's. She grabbed a white bra and closed the drawer again. On her toes she left the room because Caillee had fallen asleep already and Sawyer didn't wanted to wake her again.  
She quickly put on the bra and her shirt she picked out and went into the bathroom to brush her hair.  
"Loose or ponytail?"  
A Loose ponytail. Sawyer didn't have very long hair but just long enough to make a loose ponytail so her hair would stay out of her face a little. She put on her accessories and done.

Now she was finished with her clothing, she could eat some breakfast. She took a bowl out of the kitchen cabinet and a spoon out of a drawer. She picked up the box of cheerios and let them fall into her bowl. After putting the box away again she picked the strawberry drinking yoghurt out of the refrigerator and poured it over her cereals.

At 8.20am she finished her breakfast and decided to leave already. It was just a half hour drive to Hollywood records but she was sure she could use the extra time. It was always very crowded on the road this hour in the morning and she wouldn't want to be late at her job interview. So she got her keys, locked the door behind her and went to the place where she parked her car yesterday. And off she went, on the way to her big dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sawyer arrived at the Hollywood records at 9.05am. She had a lot of luck on the road because for some reason there wasn't as much traffic as normal. Walking towards the big round building, she ran over some answers she had prepared. In all her concentration she didn't even noticed she walked past Lucy Hale, the actress who plays Aria Montgomery in Pretty little liars, a TV show Sawyer loved to watch. But Saywer also loved Lucy Hales first single she just brought out two days ago.  
They both walked through the revolving door at the front of the building. Sawyer walked towards the front desk to register herself and Lucy walk further into the building. The receptionist told Sawyer to go upstairs to the third floor and wait in the hallway at room 314. Saywer started walking to the elevators. "No stairs today," she thought. She wouldn't like to go in to the interview all sweaty. Waiting for the elevator she looked at her left and finally recognized the PLL actress who was waiting right next to her for the elevator to come down.  
"OMG, you're Lucy Hale! I'm sorry to be so… Pretty little liars is one my favorite TV shows."  
"That's nice to hear, it's always fun to meet a fan."  
"I also like your new single very much. It just keeps hanging around in my head."  
"Thank you, that's very sweet of you."

Ding. The elevator doors went open and they both stepped in.

"Which floor?" Lucy asked.  
"Euhm, third please," Sawyer answered.  
Sawyer saw that Lucy didn't press another number, so she probably needed to be at the same floor.  
"So are you new here? I haven't seen you around."  
"Well hopefully soon I will be. I'm here for a job interview."  
"Oh and for which job are you here?"  
"Assistant producer. For a new upcoming singer."

Ding. The elevator doors opened again and they both stepped out of the elevator.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. Isn't today like the second round with only five people?"  
"Yeah. Today we have another talk and we also need to do practical test or something."  
They passed room 314 with on the opposite of the door a couple dark brown chairs with a flower printed pillow.  
"Well this is where I need to be" said Sawyer: "It was very nice to meet you."  
"You too. And good luck."  
"Thank you."  
Lucy continued walking through the long hall and went in a room a couple doors further.  
After this meeting, Sawyer needed to get her mind straight again. She couldn't go in with a dreamy head because than it would look like she couldn't handle to meet famous people on a daily basis. She needed to stay professionally and stay focused.

The door in front of Sawyer opened.  
"Miss Brookes?"  
Sawyer looked up. A man in his forties stood in the opening of the door.  
"Yes," Sawyer answered.  
"Come in please."  
Sawyer stood up and walked past the man who kept the door open for her. In the office stood a desk with three chairs behind it, two of them were filled with a young men and an older men. On the other side of the desk there only stood one chair and she assumed that chair was meant for her. She assumed right, the men who invited her in, pointed her to the single chair. He himself took place on the other side next to the other two men. And now her second interview could start.

After ten minutes telling about her experiences and another ten minutes answering questions, the interview was finally over. Sawyer could take a breath again. But just for a couple minutes. In a quarter of an hour she needed to be on the second floor for a practical test. So she took the elevator down to the second floor, search for studio B and knocked on the door. A young man opened the door. He wore an old looking jeans, a T-shirt from the cure and his hair was sticking up with gel.  
"Can I help you?" the man asked.  
"Euhm yeah, I'm supposed be here for a practical test for my job interview. Mr. Cambell has send me down." Mr. Cambell was the man, who invited her in, upstairs.  
"Right. So you're miss Brookes? Come on in."  
"Thank you" Sawyer stepped into the room: "I know I'm a little early."  
"No problem. It's better to be too early than too late."  
Sawyer smiled at the guy. He was fun, relaxed. Sawyer looked around and put big eyes on. For a second she thought she was in heaven. In front of her she saw a huge mixing desk. At home she had one too but this one was ten times bigger. She couldn't believe her eyes.  
"You like it?" the man asked. He had noticed her big eyes.  
All Sawyer could bring out was: "Uhu."  
In front of the mixing desk was a window and behind that window there was the recording booth with a grand piano, a couple guitars and in the middle stood a recording microphone.  
"Oh…my god. This is amazing!" Sawyer almost shouted.  
"Yeah it's pretty great" said the guy while looking around: "So euhm we still need to wait for a couple people before we can start with your test. I have to go get something quickly but you're welcome to wait here."  
"Thank you, Mr. …?"  
"Oh sorry. Call me TJ."  
"Nice to meet you TJ, I'm Sawyer."  
They shook hands. After letting go, TJ walked out of the room. Sawyer twirled around and thought: "I'm gonna love it here."

15 minutes later.

"Okay miss Brookes, show us what you got, " Mr. Cambell gave her a go-ahead. Looking at her, were the same three people from upstairs in the interview room plus TJ, the guy who had invited her into the studio. Sawyer was ready to begin. She needed to show her public how well she could use the mixing desk. So that's why she would only use the most necessary parts on the panel and if they asked why she didn't use everything else, she would tell them what one of her teachers always said: _The best producers can do the most with a small des._ And if that wasn't enough to convince her judges, she would just show them what she could do with all the rest. Sawyer was ready to push up the first sliders when the door of the studio swung open.

"Sorry, I'm late. Hope I didn't miss anything."  
It was Lucy Hale who came rushing through the door. Sawyer turned around and the only thing she could do was staring open-eyed to the girl she had met earlier that morning.  
"No not at all. Miss Brookes was just getting started," said the older man next to Mr. Cambell.  
The eyes of Lucy and Sawyer crossed each other when Lucy took place on a chair next to TJ.  
"Well don't let me hold you up any longer miss Brookes," Lucy said.  
"Euhm…right." Sawyer shook her head to get her concentration back and turned herself back at the mixing desk. There she went.  
Sawyer was able to entertain her judges for almost 20 minutes with just her own mixing talent. When she finished up her last sounds, Lucy asked: "Hey can we maybe do something together?"  
"Sure. What would you like to do?" Sawyer asked.  
"I'm working on a new song but TJ here isn't really finding the right tunes for me. We have a little something but it's just nog working yet. I'd just like to hear what you would do with it."  
"Okay, sounds good."  
Lucy opened the door next to the mixing desk to step into the recording booth, she took place behind the mike and put on the headphone hanging under it. TJ put on the track and from the minute the music started playing and Lucy started singing, Sawyer just lost herself in the music. She twisted, pushed and pulled different buttons up and down, left and right. She wasn't even aware from her surroundings. TJ had pushed the record button and the three other men were moving along with the music.  
When Lucy ended with her last notes, Sawyer followed her by slowly put the music to mute. Lucy came out of the booth: "Omg, that was amazing! I loved it!"  
The two girls smiled to each other. Now Sawyer turned to her judges and gave them a questioning look.  
"Well I think Lucy knows who she wants to have as her new assistant producer," TJ said laughing.  
That's when it hit Sawyer. They were searching for someone to work with Lucy Hale. Sawyer knew she'd work with a upcoming singer but it never crossed her mind it could be Lucy.  
"We'll still need to discuss this a little so you'll hear something from us next week. Thank you for coming in," Mr. Cambell said.  
Sawyer shook his hand. After him, she shook everyone else's hand and ended with Lucy. The country singer winked at her. Sawyer walked back to her car with the feeling of happiness spread through her whole body.

One week later.

Finally Sawyer got that call, she had been waiting for all week.  
"Miss Sawyer," it was Mr. Cambell calling: "I'll be expecting you on Monday at 8am in my office. Congratulations with your new job."  
"Thank you very much."

After hanging up, Sawyer screamed of joy and jumped through her apartment. Caillee, who was just finishing up after her shower, ran out of the bathroom with just a bath towel around her.  
"What's going on? Is there a fire?" she asked with a little bit of panic in her voice.  
Sawyer stopped jumping and looked at her roommate with a big excited smirk on her face:  
"I've got the job!"  
"Really?!"  
"Yeah, I start Monday!"  
"Omg, this is just amazing! Congratulations!"  
Now the two girls were dancing around the living room together, screaming and laughing. Suddenly Sawyer stopped and looked at Caillee with another smirk, but a different one like before.  
Caillee stopped too. "What?" she asked.  
"Euhm,…" Sawyer looked a little down and quickly turned her eyes away: "Your towel fell down."  
Now Caillee looked down too: "Oh great."  
Caille quickly took her towel from the ground and ran back to the bathroom with Sawyer laughing behind her.  
"Nothing to see here," she said before closing the bathroom door.  
Sawyer threw her eyes to the ceiling and let herself fall back over the end of the sofa that stood just behind her. Lying there looking at the ceiling, her smile just grew bigger.  
"YES, I GOT IT!" she screamed out.  
It was just the start of her big dream and she couldn't wait to see what was next on her path of this amazing journey.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was three months after Sawyer got her dream job, producing and recording music with a talented singer. Sawyer thought she even got luckier to work with Lucy Hale. A young upcoming singer/songwriter, who also played in one of Sawyers favorite TV-shows, Pretty little liars.  
Sawyer stood behind the mixing desk in studio B, together with TJ. She was looking at Lucy, who was standing in the recording booth behind the microphone.  
"Well, I guess I shoulda learned how to lie a little better" Lucy sang, the last sentence of her song.  
TJ pushed the last buttons down and Sawyer ended the recording. They both took their headphones of their ears and sat down on the office chairs that stood right behind them. Lucy walked through de door from the recording booth to the studio and let herself fall down on the black leather couch.  
"Oooh, I'm so tired." Lucy said: "What time is it?"  
"It's 7.45pm" TJ said, looking at the clock on the computer screen.  
"Oh god. And we still need to finish that last song. Does it have to be today?"  
"I think we need to reload our energy," Sawyer said: "Shall I order some Chinese?"  
"Yes please," the two others said in sinc.  
"The usual?"  
"Yeah, but can you ask for some extra mini spring rolls?" Lucy asked.  
"Sure."  
Sawyer searched for her cellphone in her jacket, took it out of the inside pocket and dialed the number of the Chinese restaurant.

30 minutes later their order arrived.  
TJ took the box from the delivery boy, paid him and gave the boy a good tip.  
"I'm starving," TJ said and opened his box of noodles with big shrimp.  
Sawyer picked out her box with baked rice and fried chicken and poured some sweet and sour sauce over her dinner. Lucy started with a mini spring roll, which she dipped in the slightly spicy curry sauce.  
"Okay," TJ started speaking to Lucy: "We just need to record your bonus track and then we're finished for tonight. And then tomorrow Sawyer and I can start finishing you album."  
"I just can't believe that it's almost done," Lucy replied.  
"Believe it girl. You better start thinking how you want to have your releasing party," TJ said with a push from his foot to her leg.  
"I must say, I didn't think that it would go so fast either," Sawyer hurled herself into their conversation.  
Lucy turned to Sawyer: "I know, right."  
They smiled to each other.  
"So, have you thought about the kind of party you want when your release your album?" Sawyer asked.  
"To be honest, I haven't really thought about it. I don't know, does there really need be a theme or something?"  
"Some singers like it to stay in the theme of their music." TJ answered.  
"I think I just want a regular party with everyone who helped me making my album, my friends, my family,… And some cute guys couldn't hurt either."  
They all started laughing and ended with a big sigh.  
"Come on. Let's start recording that last song so we don't need to stay here 'till midnight" TJ said while setting his dinner down on the table. He stood up and started setting everything right for their next and hopefully last recording. TJ looked over his shoulder to the two girls who were still sitting down with their dinner in their hands.  
"Let's go girls." he said, trying to get them on their feet again. Sawyer and Lucy giggled and stood up. They walked to their places, put on their headphones and they were ready to go. Sawyer pushed the button to start the music while in her mind she encouraged herself for going on just a little longer and not to fall a asleep.

At 11.10pm, Sawyer put her key in the door lock of her apartment. When she opened the door, Caillee turned her head from the TV to her.  
"Wow, you look very tired, like you haven't slept for days." Caillee said with a shocked face. She immediately stood up from the couch and walked towards Sawyer, who let out a bit sigh: "Heu… I feel like crap. I just wanne go to bed and sleep for a whole week."  
"Man, this job really takes every energy you've got. Are you sure this is your dream job?"  
"As tired as I am…Yeah, I love it" Sawyer smiled to Caillee: "But I'm going to sleep now. I have to get up early again tomorrow. We're gonna start finishing up the album, which means this was definitely not my last long day. Goodnight."  
Sawyer walked towards the hallway.  
"Sweet dreams" Caillee said before Sawyer walked into the hallway.  
Caillee got startled by a hard blow.  
"Everything okay there?" she asked her roommate.  
"Yeah. I just forgot that my bedroom was on the left side of the hall and not on the right" Sawyer answered.  
Sawyer finally got safely in bed and fell asleep.

The following three days, TJ and Sawyer were busy, every minute of the day, trying to finish up Lucy's album. But then came Sunday and they all had a day off, including Lucy. She didn't even have to go the set of Pretty little liars, and that didn't happen very often.

It was Sunday morning, around ten o'clock and Sawyer just got out of bed. It felt good to have nice long sleep after such a long time. Her roommate was already in the kitchen making breakfast for herself.  
"Do you want some cereal too?" Caillee asked.  
"Yes, please."  
Together they took place on the couch in front of the TV, each with a big bowl of cereal and a spoon in their hands. Sawyer just put a spoon full of cereal in her mouth when her phone rang. Looking at the display of her cellphone, she saw it was Lucy calling. The phone rang a couple times before Sawyer could swallow the food and pick up her phone.  
"Hi Lucy," Sawyer said, answering the call.  
"Hey Sawyer. Are you busy tonight?" Lucy replied.  
"No, I don't think so. Why?"  
"I was wondering if would like to come over later. I invited some friends from the set and I'd like you to come too. If you want to. We're just gonna hang out and maybe play some games."  
"Euhm, yeah. Sounds fun. At what time should I be at your place?"  
"Around 7pm is fine."

"Okay, see you tonight."  
"Yeah. Bye."

After Sawyer put down her phone, she told Caillee what her plans were for that night.  
"Oh that's okay. Now I can invite my special friend over," was Caillees response.  
"Who is it this time?" Sawyer asked.  
"Eric. I met him at the coffee shop."  
Caillee was still playful when it came to relationships. She didn't really had the need to have a steady one. So it happened that Sawyer woke in the morning and met a new guy who was standing in the kitchen in his boxers. In the beginning it was very uncomfortable for Sawyer but after all these years she got used to the adventurous character of her roommate.  
They both laughed.  
"So, do you think...you know… Is she gonna be there?" Caillee asked.  
"I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see."  
"How long has it been?"  
"In a week, seven years and six months."  
"Woow. Do you think you're ready to see her again?"  
"I don't know. I really don't."

A couple minutes after 7pm, Sawyer rang the doorbell at Lucy's house. She didn't have to wait long for Lucy to open up. She looked happy and fresh. She clearly had caught up some sleep too.  
"Hi, come on in" Lucy greeted Sawyer.  
Sawyer walked through the door and closed the door behind her. She followed Lucy into the living room where everyone was sitting convivial together.  
"Hey everyone," Lucy tried to get their attention: "this is my assistant producer and a new good friend, Sawyer."  
Sawyer looked around the room and sighed relieved. She wasn't here.  
Lucy continued with her introducing: "Sawyer, this Ian, Shay, Ashley, Keegan, Tyler and Troian."  
"Hi," Sawyer said with a little bit of a nervous sound in her voice: "it's nice to meet you all."  
And she gave everyone a quick handshake.  
The first one to approach her more closely, was Troian: "So you're the famous person who is helping our goose."  
"Yeah, I guess so" Sawyer responded while her mind was processing what Troian exactly said: "Wait did you just say goose?"  
Everybody started laughing except Sawyer who was kind of confused.  
"That's our nickname for our little one," Ashley explained.  
When everybody settled down, Lucy told Sawyer where she could find what: "Okay, so drinks are in the fridge and there our snacks on the table. Later we'll get the deserts out too. And euhm… Oh, the bathroom is down the hall. If there's still something you can't find, just ask. Okay?"  
"Yeah, thanks."  
"Hey Sawyer do you want an aperitif?" It was Ian who asked her.  
"No thanks."  
"Something else than?"  
"Ice tea, please."  
"Sure, coming right up."

The doorbell rang again.  
"Ooh, I think our last guest is here" Lucy said while standing up from her chair and walking towards the front door.  
"Who's the last guest?" Sawyer asked Troian, who was sitting next to her.  
"Lindsey." Troian replied.  
Sawyers heart started to beat faster with every beat. Her hands got sweaty and her stomach suddenly felt like it got tangled up. She heard Lucy in the hallway greeting Lindsey and inviting her to come in. Both Lucy and Lindsey walked into the living room. Sawyer stood up from her place on the couch because she knew Lucy wanted to introduce her to Lindsey, not knowing it wasn't really necessary. The only thing that prevented Sawyer from seeing Lindsey at the moment was Shay who was standing right between them. But after Shay said 'hi' to Lindsey, she sat back down on the chair beside the sofa. And then their eyes met again after 7 years and 6 months.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sawyer looked right into Lindsey's very surprised eyes. Both girls stood there just staring. In the background, Sawyer heard Lucy introducing both of them to each other.  
"This is Lindsey," Lucy spoke to Sawyer. "Lindsey this is my assistant producer and new friend, …"  
"Sawyer" Lindsey finished Lucy's sentence.  
"Yeah, wait you know each other?" Lucy asked surprised.  
It took a while for Lindsey to answer.  
"Euhm, yeah. We…euhm we…" Lindsey was really confused.  
"We were in high school together" Sawyer answered instead.  
"Oh really? That's awesome," Lucy said: "Well Lindsey, find yourself a seat somewhere. Can I get you a drink? An aperitif maybe?"  
"Euhm, yeah sure." Lindsey answered.  
"Well…, what kind of aperitif do you want?"  
Lindsey was really distracted and surprised by seeing Sawyer so she wasn't really thinking clear: "Oh sorry…Euhm…" Lindsey cleared her throat by producing a soft cough: "I'll take what Shay's having."  
Shay was holding a high narrow glass with a red looking aperitif with bubbles in it. It was cava with crème de cassis and looking around the other girls were all drinking the same thing, accept Sawyer.  
Lindsey sat herself down in between Shay and Keegan across from Sawyer. Everybody was buzzy talking about this and that, accept Sawyer and Lindsey. They exchanged quick glances without anyone noticing. Their series of glances were interrupted by Lucy, who gave Lindsey her drink. Lindsey thanked Lucy and took a big gulp from her glass.  
"Wow, take it easy Linds. You don't wanne get drunk already, do you?" Shay said to her friend and co-star. Lindsey smiled awkward to Shay and then looked more seriously but still awkward to Sawyer, who was looking right back at her.

At 9.20pm Tyler suggested to play a game that Ashley had brought. It was a classic party game with all these questions about relationships, your childhood, sex and other stuff. Ashley put the box on the coffee table and the once who weren't sitting down yet took a seat.  
"So," Ashley begun: "it's really easy. We take turns drawing a card. The person who draws the card may choose who'll need to answer. When you really don't want to answer you need to drink a shot instead, but we each get just three shots. After your three shot are up, you will HAVE to answer. Any questions?"  
"Yeah," Sawyer said with one hand half raised in the air: "Is there a substitution for drinking a shot?"  
"Yeah, answering the question." It was Tyler who gave the 'smart' comment.  
Everybody laughed.  
"No, I mean something none alcoholic?"  
"Why?" Ashley asked: "Are you allergic or something?"  
"Or something," Sawyer said: "I'm actually not allowed to drink alcoholic, doctors others."  
Sawyer was stared at with some questioning looks. It was Troian who came up with a substitution drink, a mix of a coke, lemonade, ice tea and some cinnamon. Not the most tasteful drink but at least better than alcohol, Sawyer thought.  
Ashley gave the go-ahead and the first one to draw a card was Keegan, who read the card out loud: "First kiss, when, where and with who."  
"Who'll need to answer?" Troian asked.  
"Well I'm not gonna pick you, Troian, because I already know the answer" Keegan replied and looked around the circle searching for someone who he wanted and answer from: "Okay Ian, tell us, where and when was your first kiss and with who?"  
Ian, who was sitting two seats away from Keegan, looked at his friend and started thinking: "Euhm…I think it was eight grade behind the gym lockers with Alice Johnson, who was two years older."  
Ian said it in a very boastful way and with two fingers up as a peace sign.  
"Okay, you don't have to brag about it" Lucy said with a punch against his arm. Everybody laughed.  
"Okay. That was an easy question, be prepared for some more intimate questions" Ashley said with a big grin on her face.  
The next one to draw a card was Lucy, she drew one and read it out loud: "Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Okay, I know the answer from everyone here, accept you Sawyer. Tell us who was your first boyfriend?"  
All eyes turned towards Sawyer.  
"I've never had a boyfriend" Sawyer replied with a simple gesture of her hands.  
"No way, you're 25 and you've never had a boyfriend?" Lucy asked with a lot of disbelief.  
"No, never" Sawyer had a small grin on her face that gave her away.  
"Wait a minute," it was Troian who got the message first: "who was your first girlfriend?"  
"Now that I can answer, sort of."  
For the umpteenth time that night, everybody laughed.  
"Well, come on, tell us."  
"I can't give you a name, 'cause I promised the girl I'd never tell anybody about us. She wasn't really comfortable with her feelings for me."  
A quick glance to the opposite of the circle.  
"But I can tell you that she was beautiful, kind, smart…And when nobody was around, she was the most loving person I've ever known."  
This time she got a quick glance from the opposite of the circle.  
"Why didn't it work out?" Troian asked.  
"She was scared of her feelings. She didn't want anybody to know about us. For me it was like a step back 'cause I already came out, but she wasn't ready yet. I had a big talk with her one day, because I wanted to tell my parents about us, but she was too scared. The next day I got a letter that she didn't wanted to hold me up and broke up with me. At the end of the school year she graduated and moved away."  
Now two pair of eyes met each other and they were locked for 5 full seconds. Still nobody had noticed.  
"Wooow, that's sad" was Lucy's reaction: "When did you date this girl?"  
"High school, I was 17 and she was 18. We went to school together."  
"Well it's her loss." Lucy said.  
"Okay enough about my sad love live, next card please."  
The rest of the evening was passed with dessert and questions. When they got through the whole stack of question cards, they all sat back in their seats with a drink.  
Lindsey stood up: "I'm gonna take some more dessert. Anybody want something?"  
"Yeah, but I'll come with you. I need to stretch my legs" Shay said.  
The two girls walked into the kitchen. When they stood at the table with the selection of desserts, Shay directed herself towards Lindsey.  
"Hey, you were in high school together with Sawyer, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"So do you know the mysterious girl, Sawyer was talking about earlier?"  
"Euhm…I don't think so."  
"You were the same age as the secret girlfriend, nobody you know that moved away after your graduation?"  
"Yeah lots of people, for college, but nobody in particular."  
Lindsey was trying her best to dodge anymore questions and that hadn't escaped Shay.  
Sawyer walked into the room and stopped when she just passed through the door frame: "Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"  
"No, we were just talking" Lindsey replied and took her plate full of dessert and walked past Sawyer to leave the kitchen, not wanting another confrontation.  
"Is she okay?" Sawyer asked Shay.  
"She just a little…jumpy."  
Sawyer took a plate and started laying some grapes and watermelon on it. Now shay turned herself towards Sawyer.  
"So you knew Lindsey already, from high school. Right?"  
"Yeah"  
"Were you friends?"  
Sawyer took a brownie of the platter.  
"We knew each other."  
Shay knew enough. They both walked back into the living room with their plate of deserts.

Sawyer left the party after Tyler, Keegan, Shay, Troian and Lindsey had left. It was almost 1.30am. She probably won't lie in bed until 2.30am. Sawyer put the key the ignition of her car and turned it. They engine started running. She switched the car in first and drove away from Lucy's driveway. In the back of her mind she kept thinking about those two big brown eyes she hadn't seen in so long. Of course she had seen them on TV but in real life they were so much more beautiful and magical. Sawyer shook her head. With a big sigh she put on the radio, she needed a distraction. With _Demons_ from Imagine dragons in the background, Sawyer drove back to her apartment, where her roommate Caillee was waiting for her report of this evening.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sawyer woke up with the sound of her alarm clock on the background. Her mind immediately traveled back to last night. She kind of hoped that it was a dream but her roommate, Caillee, gave her quick reminder from behind her bedroom door: "Hey Sawyer, are you up yet? Did you have any crazy dreams about you're high school sweet heart?"  
Sawyer replied with a groan and throwing a pillow against the door.

An hour and 10 minutes later, Sawyer arrived at the Hollywood Records studio's. She walked past the front desk and greeted the receptionist by raising her hand. The receptionist greeted her back with a friendly smile. After that daily routine, Sawyer took the elevator to the third floor. While leaving the elevator behind her, her mind started to travel back to her high school years, back to the best and at the same time, the worst time of her life. She took her ID card from the building, that was clipped on her pants, and slid it through the card slot to unlock the door. She heard the familiar click and opened the door. There was no one present in the studio. She didn't mind being alone in the studio, she liked it. It didn't mean she didn't like working with Lucy and TJ in the studio, she did. But the feeling the studio gave Sawyer, when it was totally empty besides herself, was incredible.  
Sawyer turned on the light, but only the one in the recording booth. Because nobody was there yet, she decided to play some music herself while she was waiting. She opened the door to the recording booth, took one of the guitars that stood next to the door and took place on the black stool in the booth. Sawyer started to move her fingers over the strings, it was like a second nature to her. After a minute or two just letting the guitar sounds speak to her, she opened her mouth and started singing. After beltin out her last note and letting the guitar sounds fade away on their own, she looked up through the window glass into the studio. Behind that glass she saw Lucy and TJ looking directly at her with their mouths wide open. Sawyer quickly put the guitar back on its place and walked back into the studio.  
"So…" Sawyer started, looking from Lucy and TJ, down to the ground, trying to avoid any reaction on her being in the record booth and anything they just had heard: "Ready to work?"  
Sawyer took her place behind the mixing desk and turned some buttons here and there.  
The first one to get a word out was TJ: "You…were in there…singing…and playing…."  
"I know, I'm sorry. Nobody was here yet so I thought…It won't happen again."  
"No, that's not what I ment. You were AMAZING. If you always play and sing like that, you can be in that booth all the time, if you ask me."  
Sawyer looked up at TJ, who stood a couple feet away from her.  
Finally Lucy was able to speak again too: "Yeah that was awesome! Where did you learn to play like that?"  
"I just started to play music at an early age. First piano, then guitar."  
"You never took lessons, nobody who taught you how to play or sing?" Lucy asked.  
"No. My mother is a singer and piano player but she didn't teach me, I just started to copy her. She did try to give me lessons but I always was one step ahead of her."  
"Okay, that's crazy" was TJ response.  
Sawyer smiled.  
"With that talent, you could have your own album" TJ said.  
"Oh no. I like singing and playing music, but I'm not really crazy about performing on a stage. I rather stay behind the scenes."  
"You sound like you have some stage fright." Lucy said.  
"Yeah, I kinda do."

After a long day of work, they were all happy with what they had finished today.  
"Okay," TJ began: "I have to leave now. I need to be at a late meeting in like five minutes. Can you two finish up?"  
"Yeah, sure" Sawyer said.  
"Be sure to lock up everything" TJ reminded them.  
"We will. Don't worry, it's not our first time locking up the studio." Lucy said.  
TJ smiled at the two girls, took his jacket and left the studio. When the door fell back into its lock, Lucy turned from the door towards Sawyer, who was busy saving and re-saving everything on the computer to be sure that they didn't lose anything.  
"Hey Sawyer, can I ask you something?" Lucy asked.  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Why didn't you tell me you knew Lindsey?"  
Sawyer stopped her hands from moving around for just a second. She was surprised by Lucy's question, but tried to keep a straight face: "I don't know. I think I just didn't really thought it mattered."  
"Ow, okay… Can I ask you another question?"  
"Yeah sure." Sawyer answered while storing away the headphones.  
"Did Lindsey know the girl you were dating in high school?"  
Again Sawyer stopped her hand action for a second: "Yeah…She did."  
Now Sawyer walked into the recording booth to get the microphone, so Lucy decided to just ask the next question.  
"IS Lindsey the girl you were dating in high school?"  
Sawyer slowly walked back into the studio with the microphone in her hands. She stopped, turning around the mic in her hands a couple times and finally looked up at Lucy.  
"Yeah… she was."  
Without waiting for a reply, Sawyer looked away from Lucy and walked towards the closet to store away the microphone she was holding. Behind her, she heard Lucy take a deep breath. She was probably trying to process the information and trying to decide how to react on it. Sawyer closed the doors of the closet and turned the key to lock the it.  
"So, yesterday was the first time you saw her again after more than seven years?"  
"Yeah."  
Sawyer turned back around and put the key on his rightful place.  
"I wish you had told me. Maybe I could have taken it into account when I invited everyone."  
"No, it's okay. I knew there was a possibility that she would be there and I can't really keep avoiding her forever."  
"True. So…how did you feel, you know, when you saw her again?"  
"It was…awkward."  
Lucy chuckled a little.  
"Wait, but how did you know that Lindsey was the girl I told you about?" Sawyer asked.  
"I guess I felt some vibes from you two. And I wasn't the only one, Shay did too."  
"Oh great."  
Sawyer took a seat on the couch, put her elbows on her knees and let her head fall into her hands.  
"I just wonder why Lindsey doesn't want anyone to know about you two, she is portraying a lesbian character on TV." Lucy said and took place next to Sawyer, who looked back up.  
"I don't know and I don't really care."  
"Do you really mean that? Are you really completely over her? I mean from the vibes that I felt last night, it was like there were still some fireworks left and not only from you."  
"Euh…" with a big groan Sawyer hit her head back and leaned back on the couch: "Oh god, why can't I let her go? After all these years it's like my feelings haven't changed, at all."  
"Hey, that's okay. It just means that, unconsciously, you want to keep fighting for her, and there's nothing wrong with that."  
"Yeah maybe. But is it worth it to fight for someone who isn't ready to show everybody who she really is?"  
"I don't know, I think you're the only one who can answer that question."  
"Yeah, probably."  
Lucy stood up from the couch.  
"Hey, why don't we lock up the studio, get coffee downstairs and if you want we can talk some more" Lucy suggested.  
"Sorry, I can't. I have to go home. I promised my roommate that I'd make dinner tonight and I have to get some groceries. But thanks. It did feel good to talk about it, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. I don't wanna force Lindsey to 'come out'. Not until she wants to and until she is ready."  
"Don't worry, I won't."  
Sawyer also stood up from to couch and grabbed her jacket from a chair. She walked towards the door but before she opened it, she stopped and turned around. Lucy looked at her, questioning.  
"Would you mind, giving Lindsey my number? I'd like to talk to her but I don't know if she wants to. So it's probably safer to give her my number. Would you?" Sawyer asked.  
"Yeah, sure. No problem."

Two days later, after another long day, Sawyer took a long hot shower. She needed to destress and a shower was the perfect remedy for it. When She walked back into the living room, with bathrobe on, her roommate pointed to her cellphone: "You're phone has been ringing a couple times."  
"Oh, okay, thanks."  
"You seem to be very popular."  
Sawyer made a funny face to Caillee, took her phone and disappeared into her bedroom.  
She had four missed calls. The first one was from her mom, the second from Lucy, then another from her mom and the last one was from a number she didn't recognized. Sawyer dialed four figures to go to her answering machine. The female machine voice told her she had three new messages.  
"…Hi honey, it's your mom. Just wanted to let you know your aunt is back from vacation. Maybe you can go visit her sometime. Bye."  
Her aunt, from her mother's side, just lived a 20 minute drive from her apartment and she had been on vacation for almost three months. But apparently she was back home now.  
"…Hey Sawyer, it's Lucy. Just letting you know that I gave Lindsey your number today. I'll cross my fingers, hoping she will call you. See ya."  
Sawyer's heart started speeding up. Could it be? It was possible. She tried to calm herself down, to listen to the final message.  
"… … Hi Sawyer"  
Now Sawyer's heart almost stopped beating.  
"…Euhm, it's Lindsey. Lucy gave me your number and said you wanted to talk… Just give me a call back if you still want to… … … Bye."  
Sawyer was just sitting there, on her bed, looking straight ahead. Caillee knocked on the door and walked in, but before she said anything she stopped: "Wow, you look like you've just seen a ghost, or heard one. Are you okay?"  
"…Euhm…" Sawyer, who was still sitting there with her cellphone in her hand, couldn't bring out a word.  
Now Caillee came sitting right in front of her, looking very worried to Sawyer : "Hey…What's going on?"  
Sawyer broke free from her stare: "She called…She called me."  
"Who?" Caillee asked.  
Now Sawyer looked right into Caillee's eyes: "Lindsey."  
Caillee looked back at Sawyer: "And that's a good thing, right?"  
"Euhm…Yeah, I guess."  
"Don't guess. You wanted to talk to her didn't you?"  
"Yeah."  
"So, here's your chance. Call her back."  
Caillee stood up from bed and walked back to the door. Before walking out of Sawyer's room, she said: "Call her." And then closed the door behind her.  
After a minute or two to calm herself down, Sawyer took a deep breath and pushed the recall button. The phone was trying to find a connection when Sawyer put her phone to her ear. Finally it started ringing in her ear.

_TRIIING_

Don't panic, Sawyer said to herself in her mind to keep herself calm.

_TRIIING_

Just breath, she kept trying.

_TRIIING_

Please don't faint, please just…

"Hello?"

"…" Deep breath: "Hi… …it's Sawyer."

From the other side, also a deep breath: "Hi..." 


End file.
